Redefination of Life

What is DSPS? Well it’s Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (which I think I’m having right now.) It is a disorder in which the major sleep episode is delayed by 2 or more hours of the desired bedtime. This causes difficulty awakening at the desired time.

• Complaint of insomnia or excessive sleepiness
• Inability to fall asleep at the desired time
• Inability to wake up at the desired time
• Depression may be present

Huhu…I’m having one sleeping disorder. It’s bad for my health. It’s kind of bad for people around me as well because I’m having very terrible mood swing especially these 2 days. Therefore to all of my friends, I’m very sorry for the way I behave. I’m having or facing toned of pressure right now and I know I will act differently.

If FYI stands for “For Your Information”…FYP stands for Final Year Project but i will translate it as “For Your Pressure” . I wish it can stands for “For Your Pleasure” instead. That would be soooooo damn nice.

Just finish constructing my circuit which have been pending since…err…since i started my FYP??? Second part of my FYP should be the implementation of what i have done and present in 1st part which is in the 1st semester but it had been pending ever since i started my 3rd semester. My dear supervisor gave me the opportunity to work on my FYP at my own time and he hasn’t put any pressure on me like any other supervisors that i known. Maybe he should have monitored my progress like other supervisors so that i wouldn’t keep pending my work as if it’s not that important. Errrkkk…this FYP will determine my CGPA u know and I treat it as errr…I have no idea as what I guess he thinks that I can do my FYP without him asking what my progress are every week. That’s such a high expectations. Huhu. I think he must regret it very much now. Pity him to have me under his supervision that is. I can be the easiest person to work with and I also can be the hardest. Depend on situation I guess.

The situation is very much different with my housemates and most of my friends since they need to present their progress to their supervisor (almost every week) while me ermmm as I said before lagging for quite a while because I keep pending my work from one week to the other until my dearest supervisor send me an email this week which sounds like this “Fiza where are you? You should have shown me your circuit. I want to meet you today!”. “Show me your circuit” means show me the circuit which really work…right? Today means?? Ahahahah…Dammit that email sound more like demanding rather than requesting, right? I’m dead. That’s the only thing that pops up in my head after I read his email. So here I am sitting on my bed constructing my circuit which should have complete and working 4 weeks ago…opppssss…don’t start with me about time management…I know I’m really bad at it…wachaaa…

My circuit looks weird. Not as what I expected it would turn up to be but what the heck, as long as it can work perfectly fine. If my first trial tomorrow at the lab turns up successful, I would be the happiest and most grateful person in the world (I really hope it will work…please please) but… Well there’s always BUT in trial and error thingy. 50-50 situation…arrr I hate probability. Better re-check my programming, so I’ll update bout my so called experiment later. Huhu…anyway wish me luck

I’m feeling like a zombie!!! Just came back from Melaka. We head out to Melaka at 3pm and we arrive back here at Cyber at 3 am in the morning. Wow…that’s 12 hours…I lost 12 hours just to attend a meeting because of immature decisions or should I say STUPID and very CHILDISH actions taken by committee there. As my director would say…SUCH BULLSHIT!!! After having one baffling discussions between both campuses, finally we had an agreement (I guess). I hope everything is settled after tonight’s meeting and I really do hope that there won’t be any more silly problems arise after this. It’s very tiring to travel up and down, up and down just because of minor problems which they turn into major problems. This is the first and the last time for me to make such collaboration (I don’t think that there will be a next time for me after all since I’ll be graduating soon). People make mistake, I can accept that but this is too much! Very damn NUISANCE!!! FULL STOP!

Hmmm…usually we expect things to turn out as what we had planned in the first place. We thought that we had everything under control and what we had planned will fall into places (accordingly) but we forgot that life has much to offer us. Our life is not linear, it has its own twists and turns therefore changes can happen unexpectedly. People always say that we need to accept those changes (easier said than done). But it’s true, like it or not we HAVE TO accept it though the duration of the time when we accept those facts varies with different people. Some people can tackle the problems on the spot while others may not especially when it arises drastically. Drastic problems will need drastic measures to be taken. There are people who can handle pressure very well and very cool while…well u know the rest. Some people may take the easiest way out while some may stuck in it for quite some times (like me…stuck in depression mode for a quite a while…oopppss)

Starting from today onwards…seriously my life will turn to be a ZOMBIE life. This is one hell of test on how will I handle pressure. Pressure! Pressure! Pressure! That is all that I’m feeling right now. I wish I can withstand these pressures that keep building in every day, every hour, every minute and every seconds of my life. I hope I can cope with everything smoothly and easily with Allah’s blessing. In a way this will help me to learn of how to endure such pressure and such hardship in life. All and all this will help me to be a better person so I should be grateful as well right? Yeay…aja aja fighty!!

Tuesday was my wacky mode…Wednesday was my cranky mode. DSP midterm is due at 8pm tonight (Thursday 23/3) and i haven’t finish covering all the chapters and tutorials yet. My fault…i know i know. Please don’t say the word “I told you so”. I have enough guilty conscience to handle right now. Thank you very much for the offer but i have to deny it. Ahakss I am very sleepy right now, even as I type this entry. I can’t seem to open my eyes. Waaa…i need to study!!! Wake up !!! Wake up !!! I hope this ‘Cengkudu’ Coffee will help me to stay up for tonight to cover all the topics. Please please please

FYI my life is gradually picking up and i’m very very very grateful for it. All that I can say is, I’m carrying less burden in my heart I’m quite amuse with what had happen today but through it all, I’m happy with it as well. For me, it’s a good sign. I can’t change what is in the past but i can invent what to be in the future. I guess everything actually is all in our hands. To have a better future or vise versa. To move on or stay put and living in the past. Therefore my motto of the week is

I’m sooo wacky today…well if it is the correct term to use to describe me the whole day (today) …I don’t what happen today that trigger my wackiness, so I’m a little bit confused myself…

I went to Alamanda to browse again (reconsider) the handbag that I wish to buy for U-Nite. I’ve been eyeing it for quite some times now but it is still in consideration because it cost RM129. Is it worth to buy such an expensive handbag, just for one nite or should I search for another? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself since I set my eyes on it. Hehe…I talk like I found the love of my life don’t I? It’s just a simple handbag which is black in colour with silver flowery carving on it. Since I sill have doubt, so it’s better for me to make sure if I really want this handbag or not.

When I try on the handbag, it looks weird when I hang it over my shoulder. It look too bulky and did i mention that it’s like I’m carrying a black box around my hip. Damn weird. So I try other bags that are available in the shop. Hahaha…banyak pulak beg yang cantik kat kedai tuh. Rambang mata aku. Cisss…after trying one after the other, at last I end up buying a handbag, but not the handbag that I want in the first place but another one which have beads and sequins on it. The most important thing is, I’m satisfied with it though it still cost me a fortune (more…)